Not until we separate did I find out the lack of my confidence. The worst is, without the confidence of myself, the fear of losing you extended broader than I thought. I am so scared if we walk toward the opposite directions. The fear is always there, and it never has a rest even when I am sleeping. I dreamed about you telling me you had a decision to leave me even before the plane departed. That was the worst dream I have never had before, and I cried out like a crazy woman without breathing.
The fear is what I need to face with. I know I can do better than I used to do: crying for fear which I allowed to swallow all of my personalities. I can be a better person who always look forward positively about the unknown future with or without you.